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[oom] 2x06 The Operation Was A Success
Summers dared to call her at the office.
"DI Drake."
"So Alex. They're about to start operating on you. You might not have much time left."
"I know."
"Your new life could soon be over. It's a shame. Together we could have made such a difference to this world we find ourselves in."
"I am making a difference."
"That's sweet, Alex. Do you really believe that?"
"Why are you so keen for me to get involved? Feeling a bit lonely?"
"They're not holding out much hope for the operation. Lots of brave faces for little Molly. I'll say goodbye now."
~~~
Dear DS Carling,
Ray. If you're reading this now, I've gone, and this is the one chance I had to say my goodbyes. I wanted you to know that it's been a challenge working with you, but one that I am glad to have had the chance to face. It's been a real honour.
You are a brave man, and a hard working copper. I do think that if you could learn to acknowledge the power of your emotions, not just your rage and anger, but your sadness and your longing to be a part of something greater than yourself, you'll find that you're a much happier person and a more productive team member. I think that if you weren't so repressed, and could open up and engage with your own desires, your own fears, you would be amazed at the possibilities that would open up for you.
I think you have it in you to be a fine detective, but I think you've clouded your mind with so many preconceived notions, you've only limited yourself. And I honestly think you're smarter than that.
I wish you the best of luck in all your future endeavours, and I hope that you take this advice in the spirit in which it's given.
Best regards,
DI Alex Drake
~~~
Summers sent a bouquet of dead roses to the office. As if she didn't have a head full of death already.
~~~
Dear DC Skelton,
Chris. Where to begin.
If you're reading this now, I've gone, and this is the one chance I had to say my goodbyes. I wanted you to know that my time at Fenchurch East has been one of the most trying ordeals of my life, and I really appreciated your albeit oddly worded and often ill-timed insight. You have the makings of a great detective if you would only learn to trust your instincts, and perhaps picked up a book once in awhile. You're not as stupid as you let on to the others, I know this. It's a safe place, hiding behind the Guv's boots, and letting people underestimate you.
But it has to be said, you need to look to the future. If you're ever going to be anything in this force, you need to find that well of strength inside you. I saw it the night we thought we'd lost Shaz. I saw the resolve and the determination. If you want DI, you're going to have to reach out and take control of your life. Pay attention. Don't just coast through your existence.
You're a brave man, with a strong heart. You just need to realise that you can trust your instincts. Don't let the world tell you which way you're supposed to come down. Do what's right and follow your heart.
And take damned good care of Shaz. She's the best thing that ever happened to you, and she deserves the very best you can give her.
I wish you the best of luck in all your future endeavours, personal and professional. I hope you take this letter in the spirit in which is intended.
Best regards,
DI Alex Drake
~~~
They were standing in Donna Mitchell's living room when she lost the power of language. The sound of hospital instruments surrounded her, and her vision swam with the double image, white upon white of the hospital overlaying the white upon white of the Mitchell's décor. For a terrifying moment, she thought she was going home then and she couldn't help but think, she wasn't ready! She hadn't said her goodbyes! (What would she say to Gene? What could she say? She had no idea.)
She excused herself for a drink of water and went to the kitchen, where she walked into the operating suite. She'd always heard the stories of people who'd watched themselves being operated on, but it took her bending over and seeing her own features under the sheet to realise that was indeed what she was experiencing.
She watched the forceps enter the wound and felt a sickening lurch. There was a wave of pain and something else, something intangible, like her very soul was being torn at, stretched thin. The bullet swam towards her through open space again, and she felt the darkness reach up and take her.
When it receded, Gene was standing over her. She sat up, stood up, wobbly as a newborn calf, and took a deep breath. She was still alive. And he was here.
Relief quickly melted into something else. No, she felt good because the bullet was out, and now she could get on with business of living. She threw her arms around his neck, forgetting herself entirely. (Just want to tell you, all the things...)
He didn't seem to share her enthusiasm, but then, he couldn't understand.
She had to find a way to let him know.
~~~
Dear PC Granger,
Shaz. My dearest Shaz. If you're reading this letter, it's because I've finally found a way to get home. I'm sorry I couldn't say goodbye to you directly, but I hope you'll find a way to forgive me.
You are one of the most talented young women I have ever had the honour of working with. You have the potential to go on to become a talented detective and a leader of this department. You are more clever by half than any of the men in this department, and I know you have it in you to become a member of CID someday. Don't let them grind you down. Hold your head high and believe that you can do whatever it is you set your mind to. I wish I could be there to see the day you make rank. I am already so proud of you, I hope you know that.
Be gentle with Chris. He does mean well, despite his shortcomings. And it is so very clear to me and everyone else in the department that he worships the ground that you walk on. Together I wish you a long and happy life, and a rewarding career.
I wish you the best of luck in all your endeavours, personal and professional. Please know that you are in my thoughts, wherever I end up.
Warmest regards,
DI Alex Drake
PS. Please look after the Guv for me. I worry for him. But you know that, already, don't you.
~~~
They're sitting around in Luigi's discussing the case. Well, arguing anyway. Gene is bellyaching about her being contrary, as usual.
"Well, you might not have to worry about it for very much longer, because I might be going away."
"Wha', you're lookin' for a transfer?" Gene asks, sceptical, as always.
"No, it's um... It's not that." Saying it out loud makes it real, she knows. "Well, it's something I've wanted. And uh, and it's good." (Her name is Molly.) "So, I've written you all something." She takes the sealed envelopes out and hands them around the table. "Just a little something. Just some observations, you know. Word of advice. Just in case I don't get to say goodbye properly."
Gene just looks at her.
"Great." Ray starts to open his immediately.
"But only if I go. Please. It's important to me."
"Right." Gene has had enough of her for one day, that much is clear. "Come on, you lot. Busy day tomorrow."
"Night, ma'am." Shaz gives her a soft smile and she returns it.
"Night, Shaz."
Luigi approaches with another bottle of wine. "Piccarena, signorina?"
"Luigi, what do you think happens to the world when you're not in it anymore? Do you think it all just -- carries on? Or do you think everything disappears?"
Luigi simply shrugs.
It doesn't matter. She's made promises, and she intends to keep them.
~~~
Trevor Riley's men came round and knocked her door down. She had the presence of mind to turn off the one lamp and hide behind the sofa. They took a baseball bat to her telly, and left, thank God.
When she turns up at work the next morning, she sees that Gene was not so lucky.
She follows him into the men's room, trying to find out what happened, but he doesn't want to talk to anyone. Not even her.
(They beat him to a pulp, and she can't think about it. She's not allowed to care. He's Gene Hunt, he's untouchable. And anyway, what good would it do? She's going home, soon. Let it go, Alex. Just let it go.)
It doesn't keep her from going back to try again later.
And he still doesn't listen.
~~~
Dear Gene,
If you're reading this, I've gone and I didn't get a chance to say goodbye properly.
I don't know where to begin. So I'll start with the obvious. You're a stubborn, angry, violent, rude, drunken bastard. Sometimes you drive me to the very edge of my sanity. But underneath that bristly facade, that hard exterior, there's a man that I wish I had had a chance to get to know better. A good man with a kind heart and a gentle soul. You're a better man than any I've ever known.
We've always been drawn to one another, you and I. I'm truly, deeply sorry that I never had a chance to explain to you why I couldn't act on that pull. Just know that I felt it just as strongly as you did, every day, every night sitting across the table from you at Luigi's. It is the one true regret I have for my time in this world.
But I have to tell myself it was for the best. We were better colleagues, better friends for it, I think. I hope, anyway. And you didn't deserve the heart ache when I returned home, which was inevitable, really. Please forgive me for that. Please. It's not that I'm leaving you, it's that Molly needs me more. Please try to understand that if I had any other possible choice, I would have taken a chance with you.
Thank you. For Christmas. For New Year's. For saving my life I don't want to think how many times. Thank you for saving me from myself. You are my rock. My touchstone.
Thank you for being a gentleman, and a friend. Know that I do love you, despite all the bickering and the rest. I love you, Gene Hunt. And you have no idea how much I'm going to miss you when I'm gone.
Think of me, fondly, I hope. And know that wherever I am, I am thinking of you.
Love,
Alex
PS. Take care of the lads for me.
PPS. And find a way to promote Shaz.
PPPS. And pay your bar tab with Luigi. The man has bills to pay.
PPPPS. And take care of yourself. Please. Stop smoking. It really will kill you, and I can't bear the thought of you wasting away in a hospital bed from cancer. Just do it. You won't regret it.
~~~
Ray let it slip that they'd all read their letters, so she asked for them back.
The Guv gave his back without prompting.
And she gets one more night in Luigi's, drinking champagne across from him, and as much as she wants to get home, she's glad to be here, right now. With the whole team. With him.
She's going to miss them all, she knows. And far more than she'd ever thought possible.
All dialogue from 2x06 of Ashes To Ashes.
"DI Drake."
"So Alex. They're about to start operating on you. You might not have much time left."
"I know."
"Your new life could soon be over. It's a shame. Together we could have made such a difference to this world we find ourselves in."
"I am making a difference."
"That's sweet, Alex. Do you really believe that?"
"Why are you so keen for me to get involved? Feeling a bit lonely?"
"They're not holding out much hope for the operation. Lots of brave faces for little Molly. I'll say goodbye now."
~~~
Dear DS Carling,
Ray. If you're reading this now, I've gone, and this is the one chance I had to say my goodbyes. I wanted you to know that it's been a challenge working with you, but one that I am glad to have had the chance to face. It's been a real honour.
You are a brave man, and a hard working copper. I do think that if you could learn to acknowledge the power of your emotions, not just your rage and anger, but your sadness and your longing to be a part of something greater than yourself, you'll find that you're a much happier person and a more productive team member. I think that if you weren't so repressed, and could open up and engage with your own desires, your own fears, you would be amazed at the possibilities that would open up for you.
I think you have it in you to be a fine detective, but I think you've clouded your mind with so many preconceived notions, you've only limited yourself. And I honestly think you're smarter than that.
I wish you the best of luck in all your future endeavours, and I hope that you take this advice in the spirit in which it's given.
Best regards,
DI Alex Drake
~~~
Summers sent a bouquet of dead roses to the office. As if she didn't have a head full of death already.
~~~
Dear DC Skelton,
Chris. Where to begin.
If you're reading this now, I've gone, and this is the one chance I had to say my goodbyes. I wanted you to know that my time at Fenchurch East has been one of the most trying ordeals of my life, and I really appreciated your albeit oddly worded and often ill-timed insight. You have the makings of a great detective if you would only learn to trust your instincts, and perhaps picked up a book once in awhile. You're not as stupid as you let on to the others, I know this. It's a safe place, hiding behind the Guv's boots, and letting people underestimate you.
But it has to be said, you need to look to the future. If you're ever going to be anything in this force, you need to find that well of strength inside you. I saw it the night we thought we'd lost Shaz. I saw the resolve and the determination. If you want DI, you're going to have to reach out and take control of your life. Pay attention. Don't just coast through your existence.
You're a brave man, with a strong heart. You just need to realise that you can trust your instincts. Don't let the world tell you which way you're supposed to come down. Do what's right and follow your heart.
And take damned good care of Shaz. She's the best thing that ever happened to you, and she deserves the very best you can give her.
I wish you the best of luck in all your future endeavours, personal and professional. I hope you take this letter in the spirit in which is intended.
Best regards,
DI Alex Drake
~~~
They were standing in Donna Mitchell's living room when she lost the power of language. The sound of hospital instruments surrounded her, and her vision swam with the double image, white upon white of the hospital overlaying the white upon white of the Mitchell's décor. For a terrifying moment, she thought she was going home then and she couldn't help but think, she wasn't ready! She hadn't said her goodbyes! (What would she say to Gene? What could she say? She had no idea.)
She excused herself for a drink of water and went to the kitchen, where she walked into the operating suite. She'd always heard the stories of people who'd watched themselves being operated on, but it took her bending over and seeing her own features under the sheet to realise that was indeed what she was experiencing.
She watched the forceps enter the wound and felt a sickening lurch. There was a wave of pain and something else, something intangible, like her very soul was being torn at, stretched thin. The bullet swam towards her through open space again, and she felt the darkness reach up and take her.
When it receded, Gene was standing over her. She sat up, stood up, wobbly as a newborn calf, and took a deep breath. She was still alive. And he was here.
Relief quickly melted into something else. No, she felt good because the bullet was out, and now she could get on with business of living. She threw her arms around his neck, forgetting herself entirely. (Just want to tell you, all the things...)
He didn't seem to share her enthusiasm, but then, he couldn't understand.
She had to find a way to let him know.
~~~
Dear PC Granger,
Shaz. My dearest Shaz. If you're reading this letter, it's because I've finally found a way to get home. I'm sorry I couldn't say goodbye to you directly, but I hope you'll find a way to forgive me.
You are one of the most talented young women I have ever had the honour of working with. You have the potential to go on to become a talented detective and a leader of this department. You are more clever by half than any of the men in this department, and I know you have it in you to become a member of CID someday. Don't let them grind you down. Hold your head high and believe that you can do whatever it is you set your mind to. I wish I could be there to see the day you make rank. I am already so proud of you, I hope you know that.
Be gentle with Chris. He does mean well, despite his shortcomings. And it is so very clear to me and everyone else in the department that he worships the ground that you walk on. Together I wish you a long and happy life, and a rewarding career.
I wish you the best of luck in all your endeavours, personal and professional. Please know that you are in my thoughts, wherever I end up.
Warmest regards,
DI Alex Drake
PS. Please look after the Guv for me. I worry for him. But you know that, already, don't you.
~~~
They're sitting around in Luigi's discussing the case. Well, arguing anyway. Gene is bellyaching about her being contrary, as usual.
"Well, you might not have to worry about it for very much longer, because I might be going away."
"Wha', you're lookin' for a transfer?" Gene asks, sceptical, as always.
"No, it's um... It's not that." Saying it out loud makes it real, she knows. "Well, it's something I've wanted. And uh, and it's good." (Her name is Molly.) "So, I've written you all something." She takes the sealed envelopes out and hands them around the table. "Just a little something. Just some observations, you know. Word of advice. Just in case I don't get to say goodbye properly."
Gene just looks at her.
"Great." Ray starts to open his immediately.
"But only if I go. Please. It's important to me."
"Right." Gene has had enough of her for one day, that much is clear. "Come on, you lot. Busy day tomorrow."
"Night, ma'am." Shaz gives her a soft smile and she returns it.
"Night, Shaz."
Luigi approaches with another bottle of wine. "Piccarena, signorina?"
"Luigi, what do you think happens to the world when you're not in it anymore? Do you think it all just -- carries on? Or do you think everything disappears?"
Luigi simply shrugs.
It doesn't matter. She's made promises, and she intends to keep them.
~~~
Trevor Riley's men came round and knocked her door down. She had the presence of mind to turn off the one lamp and hide behind the sofa. They took a baseball bat to her telly, and left, thank God.
When she turns up at work the next morning, she sees that Gene was not so lucky.
She follows him into the men's room, trying to find out what happened, but he doesn't want to talk to anyone. Not even her.
(They beat him to a pulp, and she can't think about it. She's not allowed to care. He's Gene Hunt, he's untouchable. And anyway, what good would it do? She's going home, soon. Let it go, Alex. Just let it go.)
It doesn't keep her from going back to try again later.
And he still doesn't listen.
~~~
Dear Gene,
If you're reading this, I've gone and I didn't get a chance to say goodbye properly.
I don't know where to begin. So I'll start with the obvious. You're a stubborn, angry, violent, rude, drunken bastard. Sometimes you drive me to the very edge of my sanity. But underneath that bristly facade, that hard exterior, there's a man that I wish I had had a chance to get to know better. A good man with a kind heart and a gentle soul. You're a better man than any I've ever known.
We've always been drawn to one another, you and I. I'm truly, deeply sorry that I never had a chance to explain to you why I couldn't act on that pull. Just know that I felt it just as strongly as you did, every day, every night sitting across the table from you at Luigi's. It is the one true regret I have for my time in this world.
But I have to tell myself it was for the best. We were better colleagues, better friends for it, I think. I hope, anyway. And you didn't deserve the heart ache when I returned home, which was inevitable, really. Please forgive me for that. Please. It's not that I'm leaving you, it's that Molly needs me more. Please try to understand that if I had any other possible choice, I would have taken a chance with you.
Thank you. For Christmas. For New Year's. For saving my life I don't want to think how many times. Thank you for saving me from myself. You are my rock. My touchstone.
Thank you for being a gentleman, and a friend. Know that I do love you, despite all the bickering and the rest. I love you, Gene Hunt. And you have no idea how much I'm going to miss you when I'm gone.
Think of me, fondly, I hope. And know that wherever I am, I am thinking of you.
Love,
Alex
PS. Take care of the lads for me.
PPS. And find a way to promote Shaz.
PPPS. And pay your bar tab with Luigi. The man has bills to pay.
PPPPS. And take care of yourself. Please. Stop smoking. It really will kill you, and I can't bear the thought of you wasting away in a hospital bed from cancer. Just do it. You won't regret it.
~~~
Ray let it slip that they'd all read their letters, so she asked for them back.
The Guv gave his back without prompting.
And she gets one more night in Luigi's, drinking champagne across from him, and as much as she wants to get home, she's glad to be here, right now. With the whole team. With him.
She's going to miss them all, she knows. And far more than she'd ever thought possible.
All dialogue from 2x06 of Ashes To Ashes.