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[oom] 3x01 - Tape recorded notes
Alex Drake, 1983. First recording on my return from... [sigh] the real world. Doesn't sound very convincing, does it? I know, I'm only going from my own limited perception, so it'll have to do right now. This world, here, 1983, that's what I have to work with. That's where I am.
[long pause]
I should have recognised it when I arrived in 1981, before my parents' murders. I should have known it instantly, when I recognised Sam's team from Manchester. As much as I enjoy chasing down suspects and doing quote-real-unquote police work, my talents have always been in discerning not what happened or preventing it from happening again, but discerning why it happened. The psychology of the thing, you see.
I needed to know why my parents were murdered. There was nothing I could do to stop it, nothing I could do to save them. To save myself. Arthur Layton shot me in the head in the hold of that barge, and whether it happened three years ago, or six months ago, or yesterday, it ultimately doesn't matter. I can't stop it. I can only understand why it happened.
And if I can understand what happened to Sam Tyler, maybe I can understand why I'm here. Why Summers was here. Maybe I can understand why the young copper with half a face is here with me, and just what it is he wants from me. Our fates are intertwined, that much is clear to me now.
Now, I know there is a lot of work to be done. The Dorothy Blonde kidnapping case. Getting Gene's name cleared with Discipline & Complaints. Figuring out just where Jim Keats came from and why he's here. Maybe I've taken too long. Maybe whoever set me on this path has seen fit to give me a guide, to push me in the right direction. For a time I thought Gene might be that guide, that spark of light in the darkness.
[pause]
But that fell apart and left me hanging by a thread, looking down into the abyss.
Maybe... I get the feeling sometimes, that he's just as lost as I am. Of course, he'd deny that, vehemently. But just look at him. He's been torn away from Manchester, and had to rebuild his kingdom from scratch. He's lost his best friend, if Sam's self-history is accurate, and I believe that it was. I thought, I mean, I still think we're close, but the moment I challenged his world view, he lashed out at me.
And I don't mean the shooting, that was an accident. Everyone who knows us knows that's true. But the fight before the Douglas Road robbery, that was real. That was -- that is something we're going to have to work to get over. It hurt us both, and it's not like I can talk to him about it. Manly men don't talk about such things, do they? Please.
[long pause]
Anyway, we'll pretend like it's over and done with, as long as we can, and then we'll either face it or we'll fall apart.
[long pause]
I'd like to think we're strong enough to face it, together. I mean, I hope...
Anyway, that's not what I need to worry about right now. I need to figure out why I'm here. I'm needed here, that much is clear. They're all lost without him. And he was clearly lost without me. I don't think that's much of a stretch to figure out.
Right. Sam Tyler. If Keats is right, if this has happened before, maybe -- if I can determine just what happened to Sam, then I'll have a better understanding of why this is happening to me.
He always talks about his team. But it's more like he's trying to protect his children than use them to the full extent of their abilities. Maybe that's as good a place as any to start.
Dorothy Blonde. D&C. Sam Tyler. And the man with half a face.
I wish I had a name for him. I wish I knew what to call him. He deserves that much, at least.
[long pause]
I should have recognised it when I arrived in 1981, before my parents' murders. I should have known it instantly, when I recognised Sam's team from Manchester. As much as I enjoy chasing down suspects and doing quote-real-unquote police work, my talents have always been in discerning not what happened or preventing it from happening again, but discerning why it happened. The psychology of the thing, you see.
I needed to know why my parents were murdered. There was nothing I could do to stop it, nothing I could do to save them. To save myself. Arthur Layton shot me in the head in the hold of that barge, and whether it happened three years ago, or six months ago, or yesterday, it ultimately doesn't matter. I can't stop it. I can only understand why it happened.
And if I can understand what happened to Sam Tyler, maybe I can understand why I'm here. Why Summers was here. Maybe I can understand why the young copper with half a face is here with me, and just what it is he wants from me. Our fates are intertwined, that much is clear to me now.
Now, I know there is a lot of work to be done. The Dorothy Blonde kidnapping case. Getting Gene's name cleared with Discipline & Complaints. Figuring out just where Jim Keats came from and why he's here. Maybe I've taken too long. Maybe whoever set me on this path has seen fit to give me a guide, to push me in the right direction. For a time I thought Gene might be that guide, that spark of light in the darkness.
[pause]
But that fell apart and left me hanging by a thread, looking down into the abyss.
Maybe... I get the feeling sometimes, that he's just as lost as I am. Of course, he'd deny that, vehemently. But just look at him. He's been torn away from Manchester, and had to rebuild his kingdom from scratch. He's lost his best friend, if Sam's self-history is accurate, and I believe that it was. I thought, I mean, I still think we're close, but the moment I challenged his world view, he lashed out at me.
And I don't mean the shooting, that was an accident. Everyone who knows us knows that's true. But the fight before the Douglas Road robbery, that was real. That was -- that is something we're going to have to work to get over. It hurt us both, and it's not like I can talk to him about it. Manly men don't talk about such things, do they? Please.
[long pause]
Anyway, we'll pretend like it's over and done with, as long as we can, and then we'll either face it or we'll fall apart.
[long pause]
I'd like to think we're strong enough to face it, together. I mean, I hope...
Anyway, that's not what I need to worry about right now. I need to figure out why I'm here. I'm needed here, that much is clear. They're all lost without him. And he was clearly lost without me. I don't think that's much of a stretch to figure out.
Right. Sam Tyler. If Keats is right, if this has happened before, maybe -- if I can determine just what happened to Sam, then I'll have a better understanding of why this is happening to me.
He always talks about his team. But it's more like he's trying to protect his children than use them to the full extent of their abilities. Maybe that's as good a place as any to start.
Dorothy Blonde. D&C. Sam Tyler. And the man with half a face.
I wish I had a name for him. I wish I knew what to call him. He deserves that much, at least.