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[oom] November 1982 #212 (cassette tape)
November 1982 #212
[ tape starts ]
[ a heavy sigh ]
I need to get the locks changed. Summers seems to think he can waltz in here at all hours, and it's -- I can't take it anymore. ... Maybe I could steal Gene's keys long enough to exchange his key with the new one. No, no he'd know, and then there would be questions. God, Alex, is there any possible way you could make this more complicated than it already is?
Stop. Think. [ her voice becomes stern, cold ]
You're being held hostage, Drake.
[ ... ]
Yes. If this isn't Stockholm Syndrome, I don't know what it is. Perhaps you can write a book about it when you get home, and they'll call it the Drake Syndrome. The shifting dynamic within relationships with hostile forces. It's abuse, and it has been from the very first time he kidnapped you in Soho. He's exploited your secret, taunted you with it.
Did it ever occur to you that perhaps he's playing you for a fool? The way WPC Cartwright's male companion had one on over DCI Tyler? Did that ever even occur to you -- that you've let enough crap slip about -- how this is all a figment of your imagination? About how you're going home? Is there anything he knows about you that you didn't told Shaz while you were sitting by her hospital bed?
No. No there isn't. He could have gathered all the facts about you from your own lips, in one form or another. And yet, you continue to operate as if he really has the means necessary to get you back to 2008 and to Molly.
[ her voice waivers at the last ]
Yes, but what if your analysis is wrong? What if he really is there in hospital with me? What if he can help me get home? I've already screwed this up once, by not managing to save my parents. What if this is my only chance?
[ her voice hardens again ]
You've let him manipulate you. He's exploited that hope against you. And he's going to continue to do so until he gets what he wants from you.
[ her voice softens. she is having a conversation with herself. ]
I won't let him. He can't make turn against them. I don't care what kind of carrot he holds out, I'm not about to become everything that I've fought against here. I will not be corrupted.
[ switch ]
He's in control, Alex. He is calling all the shots. Do you honestly believe that Hunt will trust you if he finds out you were there when PC Summers was shot and killed? What would he do if he found out you were the one who hid the body?
[ switch ]
[ ... ]
He won't understand. I could never -- I should have just radioed it in. But I couldn't explain who Summers was. And he already knew I had strong emotions regarding the man. How could he not believe I was the one who shot and killed him? I had no choice. I had no choice except to hide the body. He was trying to frame me for murder!
[ switch ]
Alex, you trust him with your life every day. What made that day so very different?
[ switch ]
I can not tell him the whole story, all of it, and have a hope in heaven that he will believe me. It is -- too ludicrous to even consider. That I am in a struggle with a man who is also from the future?
[ switch ]
Allegedly...
[ switch ]
Allegedly, yes. But I can't take that risk can I? I mean, God, I sound mental even considering it. The whole thing sounds completely and utterly mental. If I were me, I would have me committed for observation. I am clearly not functioning at anywhere near rational capacity. Listen to me, sitting here, interviewing myself.
Which means I can't change the locks, which means he'll continue to come and go as he pleases. And if I sleep with a gun under my pillow, with my luck, I'll get confused and shoot Gene by mistake. Probably on the one night he's come to finally seduce me. [ bitter laugh ]
Oh Molly. Your mother is a complete loon, you know that? This is why you should go become a lawyer. Or better yet, a dancer. Like you've always wanted. Grow up to be a dancer. No one ever shoots at dancers.
[ heavy sigh. ]
I wonder if he's left Luigi's yet, or if I still have time to get a glass of wine in before he goes.
[ tape ends ]
[ tape starts ]
[ a heavy sigh ]
I need to get the locks changed. Summers seems to think he can waltz in here at all hours, and it's -- I can't take it anymore. ... Maybe I could steal Gene's keys long enough to exchange his key with the new one. No, no he'd know, and then there would be questions. God, Alex, is there any possible way you could make this more complicated than it already is?
Stop. Think. [ her voice becomes stern, cold ]
You're being held hostage, Drake.
[ ... ]
Yes. If this isn't Stockholm Syndrome, I don't know what it is. Perhaps you can write a book about it when you get home, and they'll call it the Drake Syndrome. The shifting dynamic within relationships with hostile forces. It's abuse, and it has been from the very first time he kidnapped you in Soho. He's exploited your secret, taunted you with it.
Did it ever occur to you that perhaps he's playing you for a fool? The way WPC Cartwright's male companion had one on over DCI Tyler? Did that ever even occur to you -- that you've let enough crap slip about -- how this is all a figment of your imagination? About how you're going home? Is there anything he knows about you that you didn't told Shaz while you were sitting by her hospital bed?
No. No there isn't. He could have gathered all the facts about you from your own lips, in one form or another. And yet, you continue to operate as if he really has the means necessary to get you back to 2008 and to Molly.
[ her voice waivers at the last ]
Yes, but what if your analysis is wrong? What if he really is there in hospital with me? What if he can help me get home? I've already screwed this up once, by not managing to save my parents. What if this is my only chance?
[ her voice hardens again ]
You've let him manipulate you. He's exploited that hope against you. And he's going to continue to do so until he gets what he wants from you.
[ her voice softens. she is having a conversation with herself. ]
I won't let him. He can't make turn against them. I don't care what kind of carrot he holds out, I'm not about to become everything that I've fought against here. I will not be corrupted.
[ switch ]
He's in control, Alex. He is calling all the shots. Do you honestly believe that Hunt will trust you if he finds out you were there when PC Summers was shot and killed? What would he do if he found out you were the one who hid the body?
[ switch ]
[ ... ]
He won't understand. I could never -- I should have just radioed it in. But I couldn't explain who Summers was. And he already knew I had strong emotions regarding the man. How could he not believe I was the one who shot and killed him? I had no choice. I had no choice except to hide the body. He was trying to frame me for murder!
[ switch ]
Alex, you trust him with your life every day. What made that day so very different?
[ switch ]
I can not tell him the whole story, all of it, and have a hope in heaven that he will believe me. It is -- too ludicrous to even consider. That I am in a struggle with a man who is also from the future?
[ switch ]
Allegedly...
[ switch ]
Allegedly, yes. But I can't take that risk can I? I mean, God, I sound mental even considering it. The whole thing sounds completely and utterly mental. If I were me, I would have me committed for observation. I am clearly not functioning at anywhere near rational capacity. Listen to me, sitting here, interviewing myself.
Which means I can't change the locks, which means he'll continue to come and go as he pleases. And if I sleep with a gun under my pillow, with my luck, I'll get confused and shoot Gene by mistake. Probably on the one night he's come to finally seduce me. [ bitter laugh ]
Oh Molly. Your mother is a complete loon, you know that? This is why you should go become a lawyer. Or better yet, a dancer. Like you've always wanted. Grow up to be a dancer. No one ever shoots at dancers.
[ heavy sigh. ]
I wonder if he's left Luigi's yet, or if I still have time to get a glass of wine in before he goes.
[ tape ends ]